2/24/09

Stay Calm... Stay Calm...

OK QCI-ders... I'm trying to stay calm. Many of you who know me from my campaign past... I've always been a federal guy. You know... Congress, Senate & President... it makes it simpler for my brain and mental health... you know... because Federal issues are things, that you could talk to just about anyone about... right?
"What the hell are you talking about?"
I'll tell ya... because I gots some emails about it.
"Yea, what's up with dat? You givin a crap about state stuff?"

Now you're getting it... I don't know why... something just snapped... hence the "Damn It Rants" or DIRs for you cool kids who are in the know...

Now... for some reason... I always felt that state issues were a bit more complicated... I would have to give a ring to couple of buddies and ask, "Am I f'ing getting this right? This thing would mean this... so this would happen and then BOOM... shitstorm, right?" Then my pals would say, "Yup... just like that." Then I would be like, "Cool, so I half way understand what I think I'm talking about."

This post could have totally ended up in a complete DIR today... no question... but kind of feelin' like Jules at the end of Pulp Fiction today... you know, because Lent starts tomorrow... and I'm narrowing down my list of stuff to give up... (and yes, I always try to pick the hard things to give up, so get off my ass)...

I'm trying to stay calm about what's going on in the State Senate... but... alright... then sudden Teen Wolf moves begin to happen...















What in the Hell?!?!?!?!













GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR


AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IITTTTTTTTTTT!





Didn't we already go through this?!?!? DAMN IT! THE FRIGGIN' ELECTORIAL F'ING COLLEGE!!!!!!!! Call me John McEnroe because I'm saying, "YOU CAN NOT BE SERIOUS!!!!!!!'

I'm getting f'in releases from press peeps because we have abosolutely nothing else to do, but make our state irrelevant!!! DAMN IT! This is some twisted "Way Way Way Before April Fool's Joke"... right? ARE YOU SERIOUS!?!?!

Thanks a lot... now you did it... E - LECT - ORAL F- ING COL-LEGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!

Awesome, that's really awesome. Yup, this is the best idea ever... yup... wow, I'm sure glad those peeps up in the Senate have all figured out. Cool. I feel so better now... because... you know... DAMN IT!!!!!!!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!! DAMN IT!!!!!
[Bam... crash... glass breaking...]
G$ - DAMN IT!!!
[sound of walls getting holes put in them with George Brett signature Louisville Slugger]
G$ - ARRRRRGH!!!!!!!!!! DAMN!!!!! IT!!!!!
[neighbors outside gathering in front of building]
Neighbor 1: Dude, what's going on with G$?
[window smash]
Neighbor 2: Dunno man... either he's watching a Chiefs game or he's watching the news... he's political you know...
G$ - SON OF A.... [crash]
Neighbor 1: Nah man... it ain't football season... it's a politcal thing or something...
Neighbor 2: Oh yea man... cool... man, remind me not to talk to him during football season...
G$ - ARRRRRGHH!!!!!! DAMN IT!!!!! [smash]
Neighbor 1: Yea or this Erectial... Erectal... Electoral... College or something he's talkin' man...
Neighbor 2: Yea man... he really flips his lid man...
G$ - DAMN IT!!!!
[sound of snapping 2x4s]
Neighbor 2: [yelling] Yo G$, man... you need a beer man?
[demolition noises stop]
[G$ comes out of door... with a death glare that could cut cement]
[Neighbor 1 throws G$ an ice cold Milwaukee's Best Light Tallboy]
[G$ slams beverage... lights cigarette]
Neighbor 2: Man... the land lady is gonna be pissed, man...
G$: [smirks] You dudes have a broom I could borrow? Maybe a Shamwow?
Neighbor 1: Yea man... Whoah... when did you grow out all of that sweet hair man?
G$: It's a mullet thing...
[Neighbor 1 high fives G$]
Neighbor 2: Nice man... that's like the greatest haircut in American History... let's get you that broom, man....

2/23/09

Down Goes Prevailing Wage...


It's over for now...
From Twitter:
@EricAlan Rule 75 is withdrawn - McCarthy changes his vote so it is 49-49 with 2 abstaining and the House adjourned.
@KentSorenson McCarthy switched his vote to no so it can be reconsidered.
@ReneeSchulte Gavel down for Monday session. Prayer and pledge to come. "Hope you had a good night sleep" from Murphy. MTR for HF 333 an option

From the House GOP...
Taxpayers Victorious Over Prevailing Wage Bill

(DES MOINES)—67 hours after the Speaker of the House decided to leave the voting machine open, House File 333 has officially been defeated.

On Friday, lawmakers debated the bill for five hour debate. On the final vote, five Democrats joined Republicans in opposition to the bill. House Democrats’ took unprecedented measures to strong arm the organized labor bill through the Iowa House. When Democrats did not receive the number of votes they needed to pass the bill, they announced they would be leaving the voting machine open for the entire weekend.

Monday, the Speaker closed the machine and the bill failed with a final vote of 49 to 49.

“I’m pleased the will of Iowans triumphed and sank House File 333 which would have raised property taxes, hurt disaster victims, and put small town contractors out of business,” said House Republican Leader Kraig Paulsen. “While Iowans were victorious today, it is my hope that we will not see any version of this bill in the future. Even amended, this bill will hurt Iowa’s economy and raise taxes. Republicans instead believe it’s now time we start focusing on how to put 80,000 Iowans back to work, how to energize our economy and how to cut government spending to balance our budgets.”

During the weekend, the voting machine shut down three times. House Republicans took turns maintaining a presence in the House, watching the voting machine.

###

2/22/09

WU: Feelin' Kinda Sunday...



Alright... "Because I'm feelin' kinda Sunday... Sunday... Feelin' kinda Sunday... Sunday..." Come on everyone sing along!

Awe yea... just a great tune... So... has anything changed? Nope... Does this mean we won't be able get random? Awe hell no. We's still gots some stuff... So let's get to it.
RANTS N' RAVES - Yea man... we gotta give some props to our main man Chrsitorpher Rants. His blog has provided some keen insight and helped connect the stories together from an insider prospective. And not to get all corny on you... but anyone else think his updates are like those letters you read from the Civil War? You know... like that's how you got reports from the front line? I think so anyway... good job out of him.
TWITTER ME THIS - So yea... I am going to say it... a good byproduct of this Weekend Long Temper Tandrum will be that GOP activists will get to know the coolness and cool ways to utilize Twitter. For real... it takes a little time to figure it out... then when you do... its pretty cool. If you are just a news junkie in general... you'll love Twitter. You can follow you favorite reporters, sports teams... even Darth Vader! (he's @darthvader)... so yea... out of a stupid stupid weekend, gives you good stuff.
SPEAKING OF THIS STUPID THING - So here's a quick wrap from last night... of course this is recovered from accounts from the millions of sources at the disposal of the World's Crappiest Blog... enjoy:
"Dude... you got a spitter?" "Nah man... all I gots is this cup." "Cool, that'll work." Now this isn't an official transcript... but you might guess this was a paraphrased discussion from some dorm floor... um nope, so around 11:37pm last night the "substitute speaker" was getting his chew on... no worries... he had a spitter... so its all good. You know... because aren't state buildings supposed to tobacco free? Don't get any on that new carpet... oh here we go again...
Machine Shuts Down a 2nd Time - I thought the crap in Palm Beach County was Crazy... yea.. the voting machine shut down AGAIN about 5 hours ago. Come Mr. Speaker... 1 time is cool... but twice?
Traditional Media... so if you caught the news last night... they did alright... there's no outrage... why would we think there would be? Anyhoop, checking out the DM Register... and was happy to find that this story is in the Metro section... second page! and not on the front page... Yea... wouldn't want it on the front... because... nothing else is going on... the Meatheads ae in town... but nope nothing else... it was like they were waiting for Shawn Johnson to sneeze... but she didn't, so there wasn't much else to put on the front page... sigh...
College Republicans Rule! So the ISU CRs delivered more goods... man... good job out of you kids.
So there you have it... that's all that's up now.
MY MAN MITCH - Oh hell yea... one of my favorite Governors, Mitch Daniels, was on Face the Nation this morning. Dudes... if you only knew of the things he's doing in Indiana... man... Iowa GOP Gov Candidates, please take careful notes on this guy. Not only is he a true reformer... he's a Governor that makes his state proud... just ask any Hoosier... you'll prolly get a decent review out of them... go to mymanmitch.com for all of the stuff he's up to...
We ain't done yet... stay tuned.

2/21/09

WU: Still Here... And Get This...


**Updated ... again @ 11:22

...there is still not a 51st vote. Nice work out of everyone... especially the House GOP... for real... if we ever pulled something like this back in the day... the other side would still be talking about it in campaign mail pieces...

We are now experiencing what will be known as the "World's Longest Pissing Match in Statehouse History"... Not sure who is competing...the egos of the House Majority or something else? Hmm... tough call. All we know is... the longer the wait... the dumber this looks.

Anyways... big ups for the good guys who are filling in on shifts... like Chris Hagenow right now... he's on Twitter... follow him on @ChrisHagenow.

Some quick random thoughts and randomness here before... we, here at QCI HQ get to shut down...

SO IS THIS GOING TO BE THE FIRST AND ONLY TIME? Meaning... are going to see this crazy game of grab ass everytime the Majority can't get the votes on issues that they must have signed contracts in blood? Makes for fun drama and media... but makes you puke that all you have to do is put on a weekend long pitty party because your prom date didn't show up... um because... they weren't going with you to the prom anyway.
I'M IMPRESSED - Yea... how good is the new leadership in the Minority? Man... I mean... not only just this whole train wreck that's going on... but things in general... good job out of you...

SMALL SCHOOLS RULE... Yea... you heard that right Senator McCoy... So.. got to catch a little 13 tonight... Yea... gonna scale back your idea on the School plan? How about talking about things you know about Senator... like as in... not small schools... yea... this isn't the last we'll post on this...

**OUR BAD... So yea... Rep. Linda Upmeyer is at the Capitol too... no disrespect at all maam... although... get this... quick QCI Fact! Did you know that Rep. Upmeyer was in the same Art History Class at NIACC back in the day with the editor of the World's Crappiest Blog? Yup... as Adrianne always sez... "True Story..."

Wii BOWLING - Man... I really suck at this game... yup... up in God's Country, Iowa this weekend celebrating my Pop's Birthday... a little beer... a little prime rib... a little 93.3 KIOA... and whole lots of a little getting my ass kicked in Wii Bowling!!!! And... MY SISTER is beating me! (although I suspect... she's palyed this before...) DAMN IT! Anyways... good times... it's a lot of fun... gotta roll back... I think we know the song on Dick Bartley's Solid Gold's greatest hits... what's the number again? Oh yea... 1 - 8 8 8 - 222 - 1965!

More to come... stay tuned...

WU: What We Know Now...




Alright QCI-ders... let's get you updated... get random... and let you know what's going down... QCI has its ears to the ground... as well as does the rest of the LBC... So let's try to get you up to date and give you some tips.... This is collected from around the LBC and other sources... if I'm missing some stuff... feel free to add it in the comment section.
VOTING STILL GOING - Now you all know the machine shut down, per the last update... they just opened it again and plugged in the votes... so... there are some wiery warriors from the good guys' side standing watch...Our Homeboy Erik Helland is standing watch now...
NOTHING SAYS LOVE THAN FOOD - So yea... Helland is there now... we can report that the ISU College Republicans are bring down care packages... food and goodies... which you should all do the same. Check down and see who's there... and order them some pizzas... time for you chruch ladies to send some caseroles! For real... they are standing guard... hook them up... if you House Peeps have any requests... let us know... we'll post what you need. Or if you are running arrands... pick up some Red Bull... pick up some coffees... they're gonna need it.
LARRY MAREK - Wow... this guy is the buzz of the week... QCI can confirm that there were a lot of out of stateplates (Illinois for the most part) of "interested" parties who wanted to voice their opinions at his forums this morning... but get this... MAREK IS STANDING FIRM AND TOLD HIS PEEPS... HIS VOTE IS STILL NO. From a source: "Larry Marek just pledged at a public form less than 5 minutes ago that he will not switch his vote.


You should drop a line as well as the others... tell them to stand firm, and don't forget to thank them:

mckinley.bailey@legis.state.ia.us - doris.kelly@legis.state.ia.us - LARRY.MAREK@LEGIS.STATE.IA.US - dolores.mertz@legis.state.ia.us - brian.quirk@legis.state.ia.us and one who is a vote no yet to vote - geri.huser.legis.state.ia.us
ROLLLING JUST LIKE INDIANA JONES
- Hu Hu Hu Huge Props to McKinley Bailey (represents Stanhope). When push came to shove... he knew what to do... here's a recap from Rant's n Raves last night:
Ok, follow along as best as you can. After five and a half hours of debate, the voting machine opened. Right off the bat Democrats Bailey, Kelley, Marek, Mertz and Quirk vote "no." Bailey was out of the chamber before his light had turned red.

QCI can report that there was a car running out side of the Capitol waiting for him... kind of like trying to avoid the huge boulder rolling down the cave that is the House Leadership... dude... nice move...


CALL THE SPEAKER AND SAY ENOUGH IS ENOUGH:
If you haven't already... call 515-281-5566. Tell him... even the machine itself said enough is enough...
That's all we got now... keep it going... did I miss anything? Use and abuse the comment section this week. Wow... somewhere the West Wing writers are taking notes for a hot new drama...

TWITTER - Some of you have emailed for instant updates... my best advice is get on Twitter... start up an account and follow some of the good guys on mine... @grantyoung72 Seriously... you'll get the scoop faster than the blogs and reporters.

More updates to come... Woot!

2/20/09

WU: Prevailing Wage Vote, Live Updates... Hit Refresh All Weekend....





BREAKING... 11:28AM 2.21.09

Man vs. Machine: House Republicans win another round


(DES MOINES) – Long after last night’s vote on the prevailing wage bill, the legislative vote machine timed out this morning, clearing the whole electronic voting board in the Iowa House of Representatives.
Democratic leadership was forced to re-enter the votes manually, re-opening the machine, which clearly was not constructed with the intention of staying open so long. Typically, the machine is closed immediately following a vote. House Speaker Pat Murphy, however, has kept the machine open, hoping someone will switch from a “no” vote.
“House Republicans continue to remain vigilant in this chamber, even if we outlast the voting machine itself,” said House Minority Leader Kraig Paulsen. “Republicans believe this bill was rightly defeated, Iowa taxpayers agree, and now even the machine has said ‘enough.’ We hope the speaker will do the right thing, shut down voting and allow us to focus on other things – like how to revive Iowa’s economy, how to create new jobs and how to fix the state’s budget deficit.”
# # #




Hey QCI-ders... you have all heard about what's going down up at the Capitol... Wow... Holy freaking crap... whoah... stay tuned here... we will post updates via the Weekend Update... until now... here's a cool shot from the dome... at of 11:34pm Friday, February 20th... this is the score. (Click on the picture for a larger view)

CC: The 69 Dream Machine... oh yea...





Wow... that titel sounds a little dirtier than we wanted... aw hell... what are gonna do, kick us off the interwebs... anyways... a little quick stuff before the current majority destroys business in Iowa as we know it.

GRRRRRRR... Almost worth another DIR this week... the Meatheads... the frigging Meatheads are on the loose... made me late a bunch of times and late for a cool event... urgggggggh!

PURSIN' IT UP So yea... was totally late for majority of the festivities for Purse Palooza last night... but You could tell they had a good event... ladies were fired up... tried to talk Sandy Greiner into running for something... anything... all she said was, "Do you need a drink?" Ha! So yea... I think we need to start the drum beat... RUN SANDY RUN! So yea... nice joint... great ladies... great party. Although I tried to get Milwaukee's Best Light on the bar menu for the next one... not hold my breath... KEP UP THE GREAT WORK GALS!

ERIK HELLAND IS OUR HOMEBOY So yea... new feature that you'll see from time to time on the Countdown... "Who's Yo Homeboy?" Well this week... Erik Helland is our homeboy... you knew he had it in him to make it happen... I mean, not only is he a QCI-der Fan Favorite... we predicted great things from him way back... um... uhmember this?

For real though... you see him bustin down some knowledge on taxpayer funded Union Halls? Here's the story...

This is the Quote of the Day about Helland:

"This is just a Republican who wants to raise heck."

First of all... if your gonna say it... say it... heck? Come on man... what the hell do you think this is Scooby freaking Doo? The Union Guy sounds like the friggin guy that who gets his mask pulled off by Scrappy Doo... "We would have gotten away with it, if it wasn't for you snooping kids!" Yea... because that's how our crew rolls... like driving a District 69 Dream Machine... busting down knowledge and cleaning up government.

So yea... Erik Helland is our Homeboy... more stuff to come, stay tuned.

2/19/09

THE MAIN EVENT(s) LIVE: Wages and Purses



Alright... Gonna need some QCI-der participation for today's Main Event... So we have a time sensitive event and a Cool Event Alert... We're asking QCI-der to chime in from both!

EVENT #1 - PREVAILING WAGE DEBATE

That's going down right now... so if you are hearing something... post it in the comment section... someone have a good take? post it up... You like corn on the cob? What the hell... BUT BEFORE YOU DO ANYTHING... ANYTHING... Call you House Member NOW:

515.281.3221 then... comment all you want. Really bring it...

EVENT #2 - PURSE PALOOZA

Yup... if you are gonna head out to Sticks at West Glen from 5-7pm... post some reports... you all have BBerries... Sounds like these ladies got it goin' on... you should show up. I'm gonna try to make it... with Wrestling going on... it's going to make driving a little tough...

So there you have it. Chirp away... let's defeat this bastard... and celebrate out west tonight!

Woot!

2/18/09

The DIRs: Hello Window, Meet My Friend Named Fist... CRASH



So yea... it took until Wednesday for something to burst a friggin' blood vessel... yea... we know that we were cranking up the tunes... and gettin' a little party hardy Marty yesterday... but shitty weather (or the lies and lack there of) must have some effect on the fuses here at good ole QCI HQ...

DAMN IT! ZIPPITY ZIPPITY TWIST CONE DAMN IT (with sprinkles)!! AND HIT ME UP SIDE THA HEAD DAMN IT!!!

So, today's DIR comes by the way of the undisputed heavy weight champion of the blogs... the king poobah of the rightosphere... our main mofo... Krusty Konservative.

Side note... how much has Hershel been on his friggin game... damn man... you're rolling like Jordan in NBA Finals... you know... the one when he just drained like 2,021 three pointers in a single game... crazy ERR krazy good.

Anyways... there's like a ton of issues he's yaking about... then it hits... you're just chillin at a bar... hanging out... trading war stories... then all of a sudden... WHAM... some d bag takes a cheap shot at one of your buddies at the bar... out of freaking no where... You don't think twice... you grab a chair, a table... a portable air conditioner... screw it... what ever it takes... that's right, this dumb bastard is the GAS TAX and that bastard must be destoyed! DAMN IT!

Nothing wants makes us want to break something when someone says... "Well, a gas tax is a truely fair way solve the issue." DAMN IT! Then you got some "would be Republican allies" who can't enough of the gas tax. They're like those meth heads who attend Denver Bronco home games... they need their fix of crystal meth... the gas tax. DAMN IT!

Then if that doesn't want you to take a baseball bat to your very collectable limited edition Royals Hall of Fame Bobblehead collection... (no worries... have doubles of everything just in case of these emergencies) you got Republicans... Republicans for this. DAAAAAAAAAMN IT!

Alright kids... gas tax is the only way to solve it... raising taxes is the only way to solve it... it's the fairest thing to do... DAMN IT! Now... we always say this up front... we're not, repeat NOT the sharpest tools in the shed... ah hell no we're not... BUT we are more of a... "Get R Done" type of a bunch, yeah... you know... work the problem... figure it out... We said it before and we'll say it again... If we can park a golf cart on Mars... we can do anything.

Listen, we know you guys up in at the Capitol aren't rocket scientists at NASA... No one is really that smart... you know, except NASA Rocket scientists... but you are a somewhat smart bunch... hell, you got enough people drinking the Kool Aid to even think this is a perfect solution... raise taxes... DAMN IT! Get creative... remember... aren't we the party of BOLD ideas? Come on doggs... think about... your average Joe six packs out there are learning how to cut costs... I'm sure personally you are cutting back... figure it out... work the problem. For real... some crazy bastard is making millions now for selling blankets with sleeves! Start thinking snuggies... yea... snuggies man.... muh fuggin snuggies... DAMN IT!!!!

So yea... say no to the gas tax... and also... a quick subject change... for my personal mental heath STOP... I mean STOP trying to compare mediocre players to George Brett on Facebook... Damn IT! Or the dudes over QCI HQ are gonna go July 24, 1983 on your ass...

2/17/09

Mix Tape: My Happy Dance...



Alright... you know when you're on a roll? Oh yea... no need for a a DIR... YET! So ask me for the story later... but feelin' good. So what do I do on a happy day? Oh... I cranks up some tunes really really loud... and do a happy dance. So... since there's no version of my happy dance on YouTube... here are a few tunes I'll crank... which you should too... awesome...

I've posted this before... but I'm not affraid to be a repeat offender.... take it away Mick...

Now I'm getting into that groove... while the cold weather is coming... let's start thinking California... you know... their weather... not their budget mess... oh crank it and bring the soul...

And finally... since the new Rescue Me season is upon us... here's the Von Bondies... they did the intro... so... here's the intro to one of the best shows on television...

2/16/09

CC: Holy Crap!







HOLY CRAP! Wow… just wow QCI-ders. Has it been a roller coaster last week? Nah… hell no… roller coasters ain’t got nuthin’ on last week. More like a jet fueled train wreck… like in Looney Tunes… except sadly… it’s all in real life. Now… we started up the Damn Its last week… but if you were a cable news network looking to create a cutesy slogan and graphic to display while covering all of this… our design department at QCI HQ came up with this…

THE LBC GROWS – In case you missed it… Check out some of the new peeps in the LBC. Notably… Rants n Raves… our buddy Scott Stanzel… and more to come… We’re trying to figure out more with these RSS feeds… which unfortunately the QCI Tech Department can let you down worse than yesterday’s Daytona 500 finish… sigh…

Oh… and we’re posting the cool event alerts just in case you missed it… yup… we are totally mailing this one in today for the Countdown…

THE BEAN WALKER – QCI-ders… you are NOT going to want to miss this event. Monday, March 2… 6-8:00pm… Dos Rios… Downtown Des Moines… the launch of a website that will be a part of you daily reads. Make sure you RSVP to this link. It’s free, gonna be a ton of fun… and you can buy me a beer when you are there! How freaking cool is that!!! Do they serve Milwaukee’s Best Light? Serious dudes… this is going to be a great site you better be there.

SPEAKING OF COOL EVENT ALERTS – Have you all heard about PURSE? It’s this new organization formed to recruit, educate and mentor, and elect Republican women. They are having PURSE Palooza on next Thursday, February 19 from 5-7pm out at Sticks in West Glen. You gonna go? If so... you should RSVP by clicking here. Yes… and these gals are that cool… I’m going to make a trip to West Des Moines. “(GASP) G$... you will start to burn!” I know… I know… they have CostCo out there… so I’ll load up on sunscreen… I will be OK. So yea… you better be at this one too. Maybe I should live blog these cool events… hmmm….

2/12/09

Big Peach: Speedo Guy



Alright... this is so wrong... yet so funny. Had to pass it along... at least you get Erin Andrews with this story from the Duke/UNC Rivalry... "the Speedo Guy"... enjoy.

Plus, you know this is good when there's a guy named "Mullet Man" involved with the story.

The DIRs: You Have Got to be Shitting Me...



Yea... 3 DIRs already this week. I wonder if I'm in some sort of mood... the fuse is a little short or is it really... the lack of leadership in the Golden Dome... So... I'm in my evening routine... just killed a few chapters of an awesome book... and the news is about to come on... time to make popcorn... stove style... oh yea... the simple pleasures... bust out a chocolate milk... peace... a nice little evening...

Then... it happens...

DAMN IT! ...DOUBLE DAMN IT! TRIPLE FREAKING LINDY DAMN IT!!

Electoral College? Electoral College... The dumb ass Electoral College? You must be shitting me... Electoral freaking College!?!?!?! This is the hot f'ing news item of the day? This is what they are working on? DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IT!

I thought I was going to blow a gasket. Then of course we get a stupid ass lesson on the Electoral College... they do this shit everytime its brought up... you know... because there are clowns who have no clue what it is. You know what? If you are going to waste time and debate if we are going to participate in this... (which good luck with that morons)... let's add this to the bill. If you do not know what the Electoral College is... ZAP! You don't get to vote anymore... that's right Chachi... no more. Take that and stick it up your same day registration. "Um, sir... what's the Electoral College?" "I dunno know man..." BAM! Sledgehammer to the head... "I'll take that voter registration card, sir... no votes for you."

So yea... I'm starting to throw shoes at my TV... then State Senator Jochum comes on TV... blah blah blah... it's important... blah blah blah... DAMN IT! You know what Pammy... it's not. It's way not. Worthless... big time worthless. So worthless that you wouldn't even keep this discussion around for the organs. Yea. That worthless. DAMN IT!!!

Listen... I know that there will be little proclomations this session. A salute to Goober, Iowa and their 50th Cow Chip Throwing Contest... awesome. Oh... don't forget we're going to have another salute to Shawn Johnson day again... yea... she's dancing now. Sweet... can't wait for that to dominate the news... Oh crap... how about we remove the word idiot from the State Constitution... oh wait... you already did that.

But with all the crap we got going on... you want to discuss the Electoral College. DAMN IT! I tell you what... go for it. You know what? After you get done with that... I propose that we discuss the impact of the Designated Hitter in baseball... yea... I think Iowa should take a stand on this issue... seriously... "Oh come on G$... there are real issues to talk about... the budget... the gas tax... the economy... flood relief... important shit, man." Oh really? I'm sorry that's not important at all... we have to discuss the Electoral f'ing College.

DAMN IT!

Whew... feel a little better... you think I'm nuts? Even D Chung and the Fly Boys are chirping about it...

2/11/09

CC: 40,000, Cool Event Alerts & New Theme Song



Oh yea… Caucus Countdown up in here! So yea… this is an apology… for the lack of postage… I know you all have the shakes like a bunch of meth addicts before they go to Investco Field in Denver to get their latest bag of crack rock… um yea… you didn’t know the biggest meth lab in the country is Investco Field? You know, Satan and his demon friends play there? Hello? Anyhoop… now that you know about the crack dealers from Denver… grab the CC and maybe a little 7-up… let’s get random.

THE BEAN WALKER – QCI-ders… you are NOT going to want to miss this event. Monday, March 2… 6-8:00pm… Dos Rios… Downtown Des Moines… the launch of a website that will be a part of you daily reads. Make sure you RSVP to this link. It’s free, gonna be a ton of fun… and you can buy me a beer when you are there! How freaking cool is that!!! Do they serve Milwaukee’s Best Light? Serious dudes… this is going to be a great site you better be there.
SPEAKING OF COOL EVENT ALERTS – Have you all heard about PURSE? It’s this new organization formed to recruit, educate and mentor, and elect Republican women. They are having PURSE Palooza on next Thursday, February 19 from 5-7pm out at Sticks in West Glen. You gonna go? If so... you should RSVP by clicking here. Yes… and these gals are that cool… I’m going to make a trip to West Des Moines. “(GASP) G$... you will start to burn!” I know… I know… they have CostCo out there… so I’ll load up on sunscreen… I will be OK. So yea… you better be at this one too. Maybe I should live blog these cool events… hmmm….
METALLICA GRAMMY GOLDEN – Hell yes… you knew I would have to update you on that… the World’s best band won 2 Grammys Sunday. And Rick Rubin got Producer of the Year.
THE CHIEFS ARE LOOKING GOOD – Yea I said it… be on the look out. New GM… New Coach…. $45 Million left in the salary cap (that’s what happens when you have shitty QBs… you don’t have to pay them much). So yea… let’s get rid of LJ and get Tony G. a ring…

QCI FACEBOOK STATUS OF THE DAY
“So and so… just got back from lunch at ‘Hooters’. My matress, eerrr waitress, had the biggest purplest hickey ever. I said, "wow, what an unfortunate birthmark".


Yea… wouldn't eat those wings if I were you… I don’t even know what that means…

40,000 FRIGGIN’ HITS? Wow… made a huge milestone today QCI-ders. Now… this number may not be that impressive…. we didn’t create this thing to take over the World or anything… but just to bring the sexy… one mullet at a time. Two big huge thumbs up everyone…. thanks for reading, the snarky comments… junior high humor… and spreading El Camino Republicanism on the interwebs.
AND FINALLY… I know… we usually save this for a mix tape feature… but after 40,000 hits… we figured what the hell, right? Here’s to the next 40,000… let’s start of the next level of awesomeness with on of my favorite concert intros… man this was bad ass when I saw it Ames in ’97… so yea… I think if QCI had its own show… this little ditty would be the theme… crank this up!


The DIRs: Fairness My Ass...



Cool... you all are digging the DIRs. Hopefully this will be a regular bit... but you never know, as I have the attention span of a 2nd grader (and the grammar and spelling of a 3rd grader). Anyways... chillin at lunch... checking Drudge... then you know what happened next.... DAMN IT!!!!!!!!!!

HARKIN AND THE FAIRNESS DOCTRINE - This stuff usually doesn't trip my trigger... you know the whole Rush Limbaugh thing going on... ect. ect... but then I read this thing in the Politico. Then specifically this from Bill Press:

"You know, we gotta work on that, because they are just shutting down progressive talk from one city after another. All we want is, you know, some balance on the airwaves, that's all. You know, we're not going to take any of the conservative voices off the airwaves, but just make sure that there are a few progressives and liberals out there, right?"

DAMN IT!

Now we all know were going socialist... bailouts... even f'ing Newsweek said it... now the airwaves? Hey Bill, get this... no one wants to listen to it. Um... that's why Air America or what ever the hell it was called... failed. DAMN IT!

Why am I surprised? The government is running everything else... might as well dictate what is in the media. Oh wait.....

So yea... we got that going for us. Excuse me Senator, we're out of toilet paper... you mind if I use the Constitution? The First Amendment portion would be fine.

DAMN IT.

2/10/09

EE: What the...



QCI READER: Two posts in day?!?!?!?! What’s got into you G$?
G$: Alright, enough with the DAMN ITs… and enough of this sitting on the sidelines shit… we’re going to offer some solutions ERR ideas ERR waste of your time...
QCI READER: [takes a sip of beer… then has the look of astonishment] (5 second pause)
QCI READER: [spits out beer because that can’t believe what they are seeing] (shouting) YOU DID TWO FRIGGIN POSTS IN A DAY!?!? AND TWO NEW FEATURES!?!?
G$: [rolling his eyes] Yeah, yeah… come on. Let’s get random.

So there are all sorts of websites now where citizens of the Great State of Iowa can offer their solutions or ideas on how to trim budgets and save money… which gave us yet another idea for a new feature… QCI’s Economy Eschnonomy. That’s right… not only do we all want to save a buck or two… but we would hope that our elected leaders would want to as well. We’ll post our ideas… and other cool stuff where you could save some money… today, here’s an idea for State Government… and well… the Feds could use this as well.

CHAPARRAL OIL EXAMPLE – Now I may need to dig up some old college notes… but I do remember a case study at Chaparral Oil… now Chaparral Energy. They were looking to cut costs and make their company efficient. What did they do? They offered promotions… and bonuses, I think… if employees of the company figured out a way to 1) make their departments more efficient 2) eliminate their job(s) 3) cut costs.

Now, I’m not sure how you could do it… but they might be on to something that State Government could utilize. Ask all departments to examine their procedures… I’m sure there’s some office joke… “Can you believe we make them fill out 5 forms to get a box of pens?” Yup… I had do that with my stints at the Inaugural Committee (which is a government entity)… get rid of the forms and simplify.

I’m looking at you state fleet… why buy these cars when we could have Enterprise or Thrifty bid to build a center north of the Capitol?

Oh, yea… the new carpet bullshit going on over at RIO? Yea… how about a cement floor? Isn’t some in thing now with exposed floors ect.? (sorry… the Home and Garden Show is coming to the building)…

Put this in the hands of the people on the front lines of State Government. Offer an incentive and God forbid… you might make a leaner government and enhance the level of service to its citizens.

Now that I am making the Government Employee Unions blood boil… how about that incentive of eliminating your own job… for a promotion? Not sure how you would structure it… I’m not that smart. But I bet you can figure it out… let bust out the exacto knives and embrace a REAL chance to shrink government. For real yo. Thoughts?

The DIRs: First Edition



New feature. New header... with a little attitude. Is anyone else pissed off yet? Good. You'll lurve this feature then. This is for all of the stuff that makes you stop and say, Damn IT! And yes, even a few God Damns as well. Oh yea, I said it. Deal with it. Here's a few issues that are just pissing us off over here at QCI HQ.

OH SHIT - This is a quick shout out to the Fly Boys highlighting the Newsweek cover... DAMN IT... even f'ing Newsweek says it. This not only makes us say DAMN IT... but OH SHIT.

OBAMA - Listen, we weren't really interested in the whole bashing POTUS on his every move... but DAMN IT, it makes it hard after his first few weeks. Seriously, they thought GWB was arrogant? Come on, just look at last night's presser. He'll say he's not partisan, then launch into some smart alec bit about the minority... thus turning it into a partisan thing. It's all you Mr. President. Good luck with the porkulus

GOVT TOUR? While were at it, what's up with FLOTUS's tour of government? Damn it! For real yo... this is their mindset. Government worship. Seriously. This should scare the living shit out of you.

STATE GOVT - So yea... new carpet at RIO. DAMN IT! What in the hell, right?

We could go on for a while... nut QCI is gonna get a little more positive and offer solutions. You know... because after a quick smoke... we'll be all calmed down Stay tuned.

Oh, and one less Daily Damn It for Iowa bloggers... you know... everytime you used to check The Real Sporer... no updates... then you went, damn it! No longer, he's back. Nice work Uncle Ted.

QCI-ders... anything else making you say, DAMN IT! ?

2/6/09

Big Peach: Todd Haley, 11th HCOTKCC







BREAKING NEWS....

Arizona Offensive Coordinator Todd Haley to become the 11th Head Coach of the Kansas City Chiefs.

This starts what will be known as the "Youth Movement" in Chiefs history from years to come.

This is huge! Now will Tony G and LJ shut the f*** up? Seriously. Let's get rid of them.

More later...

I know... I know... we're on it.